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Children are not our projects, let's leave them alone !


Çocuklar bizim projemiz değildir,  onları rahat bırakalım !

As a father, I have the opportunity to make many observations about the children and parents in Turkey.

I would like to sum up these observations at the end and let's discuss the "favors" we do to our children.

Do you think our children asked for these “favors” from us? Could it be that the scales went overboard when we did too much “favor”?

I started to wonder what would make our children, who have been given everything "ready-made", happy in the future.

Actually, I think the story starts in the 0-3 age group; every child born in our country is called "super intelligent".

When they start primary school, it becomes clear that this is not the case, but they still need to receive a fantastic education at the best school.

All the school fees paid to primary school are not enough, and all kinds of extra efforts are added;

If you have a daughter, the family starts a busy lifestyle, such as ballet once a week, piano once a week, swimming one day and volleyball one day on the weekends. If you have a son, this can include guitar and chess once a week, football and swimming on the weekends. Of course, these trainings differ over time. Because not everyone should do the same things!

New activities are coming right away; horseback riding, ice skating, flute and everything else…

Our child shouldn't miss anything, right? They are not us! Let's leave them alone, please...

Is this how we grew up? – NO; but we expect them to do everything we want to do but couldn't.

They are not our PROJECTS that will do what we could't do, they are individuals too and they may have different dreams.


It's very interesting, but would you take a look around you?

What do you think is happening?

A mother who has never touched a piano has great expectations from her pianist daughter.

The lucky horse-riding daughter of a parent who has never touched a horse seems to always ride a horse throughout her life.

The basketball-playing son of a father who has never played basketball will be national at worst anyway.

There are many examples, but do you know what is the most serious and necessary?

Parents who don't read books should expect their children to read books...

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